NO-FI "MAGAZINE"
God Rated Our Magazine "Tops!"
Wow! This is the latest introduction yet! So lets jump right into it then. Ok? Ok!
So here I am on the iMac (not the new fancy kind sadly) and I think I just had some bad parmesan cheese. Ugh! What a bad taste that left in my mouth. Now I have to pee. What a way to start an intro. Let me do something and I'll be right back......
(minutes pass)
So what was I saying? Boobs? Oh, I love them! They're great. They're like nature's pillows (or "dirty pillows" if you're a fan of the film "Carrie"). I know all sorts of people who have these "boobs" I speak of and they seem to be split on the subject. The ones with "less" wish they had more and those with "more" wish they had less. I knew somebody who wanted to have an operation so that she would have less. I don't think she did it and I guess I'm glad as long as her back is ok with it. I don't know anyone who wants to have an operation to get more and that makes me happy too. Unless it is reconstructive, you're just putting yourself at risk...and maybe even others if you get the kind that explode on contact (I can only dream of a day when THAT stops happening. Why they do it, I'll never understand). Be happy with what you've got ladies. If somebody doesn't appreciate them or tries to get you to alter them in some surgical way, hit that person over the head with a book...then make them read the book, then leave. But this issue isn't about boobs, breasts, or anything like that. I don't even know why you brought it up. Yes, I mean YOU! Who else would I be talking to?
So after two years of saying, "Hey, lets do an interview!" "Great, lets do one indeed!" "Ok, any day now I'll send you those questions!" "Ok, sounds swell!" "Golly, I can't wait!" "Yeah!" "Jeepers!" "Righty-oh!" "Um...hey remember that interview we talked about? Let's do it" (And so on and so on...), we finally did the interview with San Pedro's own living landmark Mike Watt (of fIREHOSE, Minutemen, and about a billion other bands). Also in this issue is Mary Bond's interview with local faves GLISS. I don't think their interview was 2 years in the making, but it sure was about time for one wasn't it? As you might have noticed we have a bunch of articles about heaven or something thrown all around this extra long issue too. I guess we had to find religion some day...and I guess that is still true. Damn that George Bush. (Where did that come from? Oh, yeah...most of the people in this country!)
So enjoy the rest of this 2 month long issue. Invite a friend over and read every other line of text to one another over dinner. What fun you'll have. Or print it out and share it with a priest and try to figure out just how many "Hail Marys" we'd have to do to be forgiven in the eyes of the pope. That guy is SO wise and so NOT out of it, it isn't even funny.
Yr. No-Fi "Pal",
Chris Beyond
(Chris Beyond is the editor of No-Fi "Magazine" and enjoys long walks on the beach.)
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