If you ever want to look into somebody's embarrassing past, one good way is to check out their name in google.com. I did one on myself in the newsgroup search area and found a few old posts from when I was working off an old P.C. and my only accress to the online world was via a BBS called ICBBS (one of our first advertisers too). I guess the BBS had access to Adult websites because I found a few postings where I had commented in a group called alt.sex.movies. In reality I was just using my posts as an excuse to advertise No-Fi whuch I had just started that year and I had recently done the interview with that porn star Madison which ended up in issue #3. Anyway I found this short little throw-away thing I wrote in response to some weirdo who wanted to see his cousin naked. I don't know, I think it's funny. I don't even remember writing it...
the Creepy guy wrote:
MP> jyrki@ix.netcom.com wrote:
MP> Any good way that I can catch my cousin naked?
so Chris Beyond wrote:
Here are some NO-FI "suggestions":
1. When she is in the bathroom, tell her that Ron Jeremy is about to break in through the window and she needs to get out as soon as she can before he gets her!2. Set her on fire and watch those clothes (And some skin) burn away!
3. Tell her that you'll give her a dollar.
4. Two words: Strip Poker
5. Walk in while she is having sex and say, "Whoops, wrong room!"
6. Turn on the sounds of THE REVEREND HORTON HEAT and watch the clothes drop to the floor.
(Also works with POPULAR GIRL or GYMICRAE)
7. Tell her you're a doctor and it's time for a checkup. (Wait for slap)
8. Pull on that thread on her pants and hold on to it as she walks away.
(WARNING: May only work if your cousin is a cartoon!)
9. Tell her to become a porn star and you will be her manager.
10. Oh No! Your legs are cut badly and you need several tourniquets [sic]! Oh well, I guess those clothes will have to do.
(Warning: Severe bleeding may cause your death, but hey, she's NEKED!)
P.S. Why would you want to see your COUSIN? naked!?
Hmmmm...don't answer.
So this was all fine and dandy, but when I did a search on google's image area for posters of the Elvis film Kissin' Cousins, I found this disturbing site...www.cousincouples.com. Gah!!! I mean..."GAAAAHHHH!!!!!" You people...! I am so outta here! Hey! I wonder if that guy's e-mail address up there still works? Well, I'm assuming it's a guy. E-Mail him or her and find out!
