DEAD RISING
published by CAPCOM, Platform: XBOX 360, 
, 2006
game reviewed by Chris Beyond
You may wonder why I'm reviewing this XBOX 369 game so long after it was released. Well, first I should say that in our particular game reviews we actually review games from pre Atari 2600 to whatever is released right now. It all depends on just what we decide to review. That being said I WANTED to review this a long time ago. For some reason I couldn't.
Oh, yeah I know. Because in between sessions of playing this game, My XBOX 360 died... Twice... Yeah. I'm on my THIRD XBOX 360 now. Something tells me that it won't be the last. The last statistic I read about the 360 was that Microsoft may have lost over a billion dollars replacing bad XBOX 360s. When it happened a lot of people blamed Dead Rising as it was the first game to actually fully utilize the power of the 360. And the 360's answer that was to...well, die...and not reanimate like the lovely zombies in this game.
Speaking of zombies, Dead Rising IS a zombie game and it may be the first game to really get the feeling of a proper George Romero film, although it is a little more purposely cheesy. Specifically, the biggest Romero film to influence this game is Dawn Of The Dead, which took place in a mall as the zombie plague ravished mankind. And like that movie, 95 percent of this game takes place entirely in a huge mall complex in Colorado. You play a freelance photographer looking for a big scoop and when you find out that this small town has been quarantined, you decide to hire a helicopter to sneak you in so you can get 
pictures. After witnessing a possible riot in the streets, you have him drop you off on the roof of the mal. From there you have 72 hours to find out exactly what happened to the town and its people and perhaps you just may save the world while you're at it.
First the bad news. If you don't have an HD television, you may have a problem reading the tiny text in the game. This game was developed for HD sets and without an DH television, and a big one at that, you'll find it difficult to read all the annoying messages you get from the maintenance man who seems to think that you have time for all his calls while you fight zombies. The saving mechanic is a little odd too, but I 
understand it even though it does lengthen the game artificially... It forces you to go to a few designated areas to save, some may be far away from where you actually need to be at times.
The good news? This is a fun game. Almost anything in the mall becomes a weapon against the literally hundreds of zombies that can appear on screen at the same time. Ever wished you could shove a shower head into a zombies head and watch his brain juices shower out all over the floor? It's here. Ever wonder what the differences a sword, knife, or machete would make when used against the undead? You can find out here. Haven't you ever wanted to throw a pie in the face of a zombie? This game lets you do it. Have you ever seen a grown man naked. When you see our hero run around in his underwear, you'll probably be glad that they don't show any more. Not only do you face an infinite hoard of zombies in this game, but you also have to face humanity as it panics in the face of this terror. A big part of the game is finding and escorting survivors from wherever they are to your hiding place. Sadly these characters aren't that bright or skilled and you have to stick close to them or they will perish. You also need to protect them and yourself from psychopaths who actually end up being worse than the zombies. Evil clowns, escaped 
prisoners, religious zealots, and even Vietnam vets will see no difference between you and the people running around with rotting flesh. Better to put them down yourself lest they have their way with you. As far as I can tell, the chainsaw juggling clown in the game can't rape you so anything else is a blessing. Oh, and don't forget to take pictures. That's why you're there in the first place.
So I have to saw that this is a pretty fun game. It's the first zombie game to have you face as many zombies as you usually see in the movies. And they are all a little different too. Some move fast, some move slow, other limps, others forgot to put on pants before somebody ate their face off. If you like a good zombie film and love the Romero films, this game is really a must for you. Think of it as kind of a Grand Theft Zombie with a better aiming system. Plus it is about to be released in a cheaper Platinum edition so what better time than now to tell you about it in case you missed it the first time
So go get it already before I come over there and eat your arms off.
(Chris beyond is the creator of No-Fi "Magazine"
and still can't find the maintenance key in the game.)
GOD OF WAR
published by Sony, Platform: Playstation 2, , 2005
GOD OF WAR II
published by Sony, Platform: Playstation 2, , 2007
games reviewed by Crispin Blasty
As the PS2 console is coming to the end of its incredible run, a fantastic game series was created in 2005. God of War and its sequel God of War II made in Sony's Santa Monica Studios, blends an enlightening blend of Greek mythology, Homer's poems, and historical figures. The premise of the first game is 
that Kratos, a warrior for Sparta, has grown bitter with his role as the primary fighter under Aries, the God of War. He attempts suicide in the first scene and the game goes back narratively and explains what led Kratos to his decision. This game has it all; the Greek Gods (Zeus, Athena, Hades, et. al), minotaurs, sirens, the titans (Chronos is carrying the Temple of Pandora on his back in the desert as punishment for fighting Zeus), and all the moral tales that have made Greek mythological tales so memorable.
The gameplay is wonderful. The GODS will reward you with an ability if you pass one of their tests, the puzzles are very insightful and rewarding and the game is brutally hard in spots. Kratos has one of the best weapons in video game history, the blades of chaos, which never stop being fun to use. This game was also the innovator of the button timing minigames that leads to some gruesomely animated kills. God of War is also brutally violent (it is there for the "art," it is not gratuitous) and early in both games, you 
can greatly level up your character by engaging in a 
threesome with some naked Greek women. (This is a button timing game that can be repeated over and over.) Plus, both games can be finished in a 10 to 15 hour time frame. If you do not have the money to purchase them, a quick 5 day rental can do the trick.
Finally, the story is something to be remembered. As it winds between Kratos' anger and the reason for his predicament, you feel sympathy for this character but are disgusted with his tactics. During a moment of desperation, he calls out to Aries to save his life and vows to serve him as his personal warrior. From this moment to the one where he makes a bond late in the second game with the Titans to destroy the Greek Gods, the game has many "wow" type of moments. This is one not to be missed. Now, we can only hope that if this is turned into a movie, it won't be directed by Uwe Boll (Bloodrayne/Alone In The Dark/House Of The Dead). It's too good for a no talent director like him to handle.
(Cris Blasty is a contributing writer for No-Fi "Magazine"
and loves to run around half-naked covered in family ashes.)
